Author’s Journey

It all started by shoplifting a Zen book when I was 15. I took it home and eagerly read Zen Flesh, Zen Bones, enjoyed the stories, felt there was something interesting and mysterious there, but couldn’t understand it.

I found Jesus in High School (before I ripped off the book, I think…) and then rejected him after I found my girlfriend in church and realized the world is bigger than Friendship Southern Baptist in Lincoln Park, Michigan. At university, I became a Bahai. I liked their devotion to the divine and the ecumenical nature of the religion. However, I didn’t last long as a Bahai. I found the ecumenical nature a ruse and the history plaqued by uncertainties, violence, drama, and many other un-Godlike things. Finally, after five years, two of them in Germany, I earned a BA in comparative religion, and German. 

I was essentially agnostic from 21 to 26. Music was my religion. All my time was spent writing songs, playing guitar, bass, and, in the final years, experimenting with electronic music. This brief career came to an abrupt halt after practicing Zen for awhile at the Zen Center San Diego. Somehow all that stuff lost its allure. Instead I became enchanted with a quiet mind and understanding how it works. During this time I flirted with Tibetan Buddhism, trying to find my home in a specific tradition. To meet this desire dozens of books on every tradition in Buddhism were consumed and ill-digested

I never did find a home, though I felt closest to Thich Nhat Hanh and ZCSD. Then in 2003 I moved onto Advaita Vedanta, which is India’s Zen. Earth-shattering insights came and went; I met a great teacher and friend, and spent my days hashing out the finer points of nondual philosophy online with some fascinating, flawed, and brilliant people. I see these days during 2003 and 2004 as important and formative for me. During this time I had a desk job with little responsibility. I spent the days wondering: What is experiencing this? Am I awake yet? What is enlightenment? A few times I thought I had it… which was a sure indication that I didn’t.

In 2005 I moved to Korea and forgot all about spirituality for a year. I was finished with it. Who cares? In Korea there was money to made, hot women, and lots of booze everywhere. However, I only managed to disengage from the Search for less than a year. The woman who was to be my wife and I started dating 6 months after stepping foot onto the peninsula. She saved me from drowing my liver in soju, the wrathful, infamous Korean alcohol, which costs less than juice or soda.

After our relationship stabilized, the Search reared its ugly head, and I popped around from Zen to Advaita to Theravada and back again, in a confusing and conflicting merry-go-round. Throw in there a couple of Catholic fevers, and I had myself a real mess.

This year I took formal refuge and the 5 precepts with Daehaeng Seunim, a powerful and creative Korean Zen master. She issued me the name Cheon-Do. Cheon means heaven or the sky, and Do means the Way or the Truth. It uncannily fits my airy and ungrounded nature.

Today I’m still drawn to the nondual teachings, but they’re grounded in a Buddhist context. Daehaeng Seunim is essentially teaching Advaita couched in Buddhist lingo.  There’s a great sangha here in Seoul. My dharma brothers and I along with Chong Go Seunim, our fearless leader and friend, have a cozy and friendly sangha. We meet once or twice a week to discuss various topics.